Living a Life of Purpose ... on Purpose

Ryan, since you’re so loyal to my blog, I have to give you a shout out today. Ever since we had drinks and thought-provoking conversation last Wednesday, the wheels of my creative brain have been turning about the ideals of having “purpose” in life. I feel it is a strong case for the characters (current and future) I intend to shape. Change is such an incredible force that comes with finding purpose, and I think the effects on the supporting characters will be the most compelling of all.

There are many times, and many individuals, who consider “a life of purpose” a luxury. Growing up in a town like Springfield, MO, I learned quickly that some communities operate like clockwork, ensuring that everyone has a job to benefit the whole. A small city built on the foundations of local trades and the notion of “keeping the business in the family,” there is only room for living in survival, or the most basic, mode – fulfilling only the most basic human needs. But is this really the “purpose” – already laid out by generations of tradition and repetitive lifestyles?

Finding purpose often can mean great isolation and loneliness for one person. If your purpose is not shared by the moral principles (or understanding) of your friends, family, or even society, can you have the resolve to walk the path alone? And when do you consider yourself successful? When everyone understands the meaning behind your work, and is able to believe in the rewards of your path?

Some may think becoming a politician is a powerful purpose. Or perhaps, it’s writing a book to influence and/or change public perception and action. Simply living a life that’s your own, undeterred by societal social rules, family expectations, and religious boundaries, could generate a ripple effect larger than a single person could imagine. I think immediately of “American Beauty,” a deep and realistic telling of a man’s path to purpose. By deterring from his old life and discovering a strange, new objective for his life, he inspired only a few (probably more the audience) and left his loved ones confused, resentful, and resistant to the changes that he’d inflicted on them. I believe that’s a strong character on a journey, being able to live in his own enlightened way, and being so completely disaffected by other forces.

Struggling with Endings

Since I was a young student, I've always had the hardest time writing beginnings and endings. With my writing process, I usually save them for last, as the meat of the story will usually inspire the perfect way to shape both ends of the puzzle.

I struggle with how endings are formed in many movies, TV shows, and books. In multi-season TV shows, I often see that the ending is compromised so that the audience is appeased. Before polling and blogging enters the picture, there is already a plot conclusion taking shape. In movies, I feel disappointed with forced happy endings, like everything must end like a fairy tale, or idealistic world where right and wrong are obvious - like "Oliver Twist."

I shutter at the thought of taking art and disguising it, or hiding it behind a brick wall - especially such a crucial piece of the story, the ending. Probably 99% of the time, I don't like happy endings. I want the ending to my novel (as well as all the stories I write) to have truth and honesty, as naked as possible. Often, there is the audience who wants a happy ending leaving them warm and fuzzy by bedtime. Justice prevails over villains, distant lovers live happily ever after, and broken relationships healed and forgiven. I want the chaos of life unleashed, and an ending that will leave a stinging impression of the parts of the human condition we choose not to discuss or acknowledge.

But then, maybe the biggest puzzle piece gone is hope. I have never been good at giving my characters hope. In all the suffering that we endure, there must be hope somewhere to hold onto. Change is always inevitable at the end of any story, something that makes it impossible for the central character(s) to go back to life as it used to be. And then also, there are characters who will make mistakes again after all that's happened, and those who will be too afraid to move outside of old patterns or familiar situations.

Launching Blog #2: Our View through Tinted Glasses

I've tossed and turned over my vision for this blog, and last night came my answer. I strongly desire an online presence as an author, but writing snippits about my thoughts and my stories don't seem enough.

I happily decided to start up a second blog, called Our View through Tinted Glasses. With this blog, I intend to write about many of the key issues for which all of my fiction work is intended to raise awareness: domestic violence, child abuse, women's equality, relationships, personal growth, dysfunctional families, and mental health.

While my fiction blog will help my readers keep up with my work, my second blog will allow me to discuss a lot of the topics occurring today, which are raised in my novel and other published works. I picked this curious title because I think that we miss a lot going on around us due to our view on the world, affected by a number of barriers - the "tinted glasses" that make us believe that everything is just fine the way it is.

Thanks for stopping by, and I will definitely be keeping you posted more often on both sites. Please come back soon!

Latest Travel - Shenandoah Valley

Finding Inspiration in Luray, Virginia

Beautiful rolling valleys, lush green trees on both sides, soft singing of local crickets, and very southern hospitality ... what more could you ask for? In addition to beautiful surroundings and the peace I was hoping for, my Labor Day weekend to Shenandoah surprised me with a burst of creativity and writing energy than I imagined.

Originally, I had planned this trip to (a) kick back and relax and (b) use an excuse to write/sell a travel piece or two on the region.

But it also inspired some new ideas and ways of thinking for my novel. I was actually taken by surprise to find how similar Virginia (below the DC region) is to my hometown in southern Missouri. Just from the two-hour drive and short stops on the way to our bed & breakfast, I was overcome with many of the same sights I'd grown up with in the Midwest. It has only been four years, but central Virginia reminds me so much of the slower lifestyle, local way of thinking and planning, friendly small businesses, and casual attitude. I'd almost completely forgotten about how different socially it is here in Washington, DC than the small city I came from. It's actually quite amazing to compare even the smallest changes I saw when I came to the area.

Why I'll Never Buy Another Greeting Card Again

Earlier this year, I made an important decision as a consumer: I will never buy another pre-written greeting card from the store again. After more than 20 years of receiving these types of cards, which are intended to convey how people feel about me (and are written by some anonymous author), I refuse the convention in my personal life (if I can help it).

I feel convinced that many people use pre-written cards as a crutch - because either they cannot convey their own sentiments or perhaps they have nothing to say. As a writer, I can appreciate this type of writing that freelancers out there may take up regularly...however, the problem I have is that often, the messages often typify and make broad assumptions about relationships. Is there only one way to feel about a mother, a father, a brother, or your hairdresser? For those who haven't discovered so yet - there is at least 1,001 different kinds of mother-daughter, son-father, brother-sister, granddaughter - grandfather, etc relationships. And what about those of us who choose not to have "traditional" relationships? I can't tell you how HARD it had been to find my boyfriend Mike a decent card that's not prefaced to "my husband".

Why is it difficult for us to break into honesty instead of asking a "faceless stranger" to define the things we value in the people who are in our lives? After having the same message on every holiday, it has certain grown into an empty, numb reaction. And hey, how about a "holiday" card that is not completely created for the Christian audience? Is it really accurate to assume everyone is a Baptist or Methodist? I feel like these "cut and paste" messages have been used for too many years - it's almost to the point where phrases like "I love you" and "thank you" are recycled too much to have the same impact it once did.

I would absolutely applaud the revolutionizing of the entire way we write, sell, buy greeting cards. This is not a call to action for every consumer to abandon the greeting card aisles. I can appreciate that this is a convention that works for some people, maybe it is a better alternative to an wordless card when there's nothing to say to people. But as a creative writer myself, I don't think it works for me to box and label my relationships now or ever again.