My blog has moved to FictionMeetsLife.Wordpress.com

It's been a while since I've been able to keep updating my fiction blog. As part of my renewed commitment to you, my readers, I will be doing more to make this site more awesome.

This weekend, I've decided to completely redesign my blog to make it easier, faster, and prettier, which means it has moved over to WordPress.

It has also been renamed, "When Life Happens," because the focus of my novel and short stories is essentially about life, and how we are faced with difficult decisions, hardships, and changes all the time, whether we're ready for them or not. I am also hoping to create more ways for users to comment and participate in discussions in the future.

Thank you for continuing to support my fiction career by following my blog here. Please be sure to follow my fiction blog at the new location: www.fictionmeetslife.wordpress.com.

Living a Life of Purpose ... on Purpose

Ryan, since you’re so loyal to my blog, I have to give you a shout out today. Ever since we had drinks and thought-provoking conversation last Wednesday, the wheels of my creative brain have been turning about the ideals of having “purpose” in life. I feel it is a strong case for the characters (current and future) I intend to shape. Change is such an incredible force that comes with finding purpose, and I think the effects on the supporting characters will be the most compelling of all.

There are many times, and many individuals, who consider “a life of purpose” a luxury. Growing up in a town like Springfield, MO, I learned quickly that some communities operate like clockwork, ensuring that everyone has a job to benefit the whole. A small city built on the foundations of local trades and the notion of “keeping the business in the family,” there is only room for living in survival, or the most basic, mode – fulfilling only the most basic human needs. But is this really the “purpose” – already laid out by generations of tradition and repetitive lifestyles?

Finding purpose often can mean great isolation and loneliness for one person. If your purpose is not shared by the moral principles (or understanding) of your friends, family, or even society, can you have the resolve to walk the path alone? And when do you consider yourself successful? When everyone understands the meaning behind your work, and is able to believe in the rewards of your path?

Some may think becoming a politician is a powerful purpose. Or perhaps, it’s writing a book to influence and/or change public perception and action. Simply living a life that’s your own, undeterred by societal social rules, family expectations, and religious boundaries, could generate a ripple effect larger than a single person could imagine. I think immediately of “American Beauty,” a deep and realistic telling of a man’s path to purpose. By deterring from his old life and discovering a strange, new objective for his life, he inspired only a few (probably more the audience) and left his loved ones confused, resentful, and resistant to the changes that he’d inflicted on them. I believe that’s a strong character on a journey, being able to live in his own enlightened way, and being so completely disaffected by other forces.

If you knew me as a writer, you'd have me committed.

The writer’s blessing and curse: his or her own writing process. Trust the process. Believe in the process. But truly, if anyone else knew the process of a writer, they’d have you committed. It’s completely unlike any other way of life out there. Even in my days as a copywriter, writer’s block leaves me banging my head on the desk or pulling out my hair until the right words formed. If you cracked open the mind of a writer, you’d be shocked and probably corrupted to the core. And there’ll be no going back.

Tonight, I watched “Adaptation,” and fell in love with how much it reminds me of the trials of being a novelist. It’s the excitement in capturing that completely genius plot twist by paper or tape recorder. Your voice climaxes as the words leave your mind and formulate into existence, finally. It’s even more evident with voice recordings for me.

A year ago, my work commute was one hour each way, leaving me with too much time on my hands. I started getting lightning ideas halfway home, and soon I had no choice but to start recording my thoughts in the heat of the heart-pounding moment. Palms sweating, eyes widening, thoughts growing frantic with each second, I unloaded my brain’s incessant babble and thoughts – often still unprocessed and jumbled – into the small device in the palm of my hand. Everything surrounding me was blocked, distant from any concern. The only noise I heard was the sound of my own rambling voice, as I discovered the key that would unblock my story roadblock. It was brilliant, simple. After the first 10 minutes of scrambling random words that made no sense, the rest seemed to create its own logical pattern that would solve everything. My characters, sitting idle in my head until I could continue typing the next chapter of their lives, would find their purpose again soon.

Everything is perfect. Until I get home that evening to replay my notes. Something’s gone wrong. Is this my voice? What the hell was I thinking? The expression of horror on my face is frozen, and I’m mortified that there is evidence of these ideas. My instinct is to erase the file, as if the thoughts never existed. I resist the urge to stash my recorder into the depths of the back closet, buried under the less desirable items hidden there already. It will only be minutes before I have to fight back the sensations to tear apart my manuscript, take a sledgehammer to the computer with which I’ve trusted my files.

In my office, evidence of bad ideas and juvenile writing is a deadly sin. But I still mourn the loss of my first poem, which was part of a collection published when I was 12. All I recall is that is was about the lonesome tales of a traveler leaving home and exploring the world. It wasn't until around four years ago that I began to understood the true beauty of the story, which was lost on me for many years.

It took me years before I could force myself to stop destroying my documents. My writing notebook (actually, it was just one spiral notebook, but has grown into four different notebooks), which contains bits of my manuscript and endless notes and thoughts, is not readable. Call it my own secret writing code, I truly doubt that if stolen, my notes could ever be put together and determined logical. This is where my bad ideas belong, so that they’re never unearthed by accident in future brainstorming.

“It is art that makes life, makes interest, makes importance … and I know of no substitute whatever for the force and beauty of its process.” (Max Eastman, American journalist and published author)

Trust the process.

Struggling with Endings

Since I was a young student, I've always had the hardest time writing beginnings and endings. With my writing process, I usually save them for last, as the meat of the story will usually inspire the perfect way to shape both ends of the puzzle.

I struggle with how endings are formed in many movies, TV shows, and books. In multi-season TV shows, I often see that the ending is compromised so that the audience is appeased. Before polling and blogging enters the picture, there is already a plot conclusion taking shape. In movies, I feel disappointed with forced happy endings, like everything must end like a fairy tale, or idealistic world where right and wrong are obvious - like "Oliver Twist."

I shutter at the thought of taking art and disguising it, or hiding it behind a brick wall - especially such a crucial piece of the story, the ending. Probably 99% of the time, I don't like happy endings. I want the ending to my novel (as well as all the stories I write) to have truth and honesty, as naked as possible. Often, there is the audience who wants a happy ending leaving them warm and fuzzy by bedtime. Justice prevails over villains, distant lovers live happily ever after, and broken relationships healed and forgiven. I want the chaos of life unleashed, and an ending that will leave a stinging impression of the parts of the human condition we choose not to discuss or acknowledge.

But then, maybe the biggest puzzle piece gone is hope. I have never been good at giving my characters hope. In all the suffering that we endure, there must be hope somewhere to hold onto. Change is always inevitable at the end of any story, something that makes it impossible for the central character(s) to go back to life as it used to be. And then also, there are characters who will make mistakes again after all that's happened, and those who will be too afraid to move outside of old patterns or familiar situations.

Monday Morning - Aug '08

Picture This! Archived Feature #2



My hand slipped down to make room on the metallic pole

coated with the warmth from a hundred strangers.

The dull lights by the side flickered to remind me

that I was staring too long into the bleakness of the wall.


I never dared to glance around to the faces around me

perhaps to meet the gaze of someone I would know or even

a friendly smile to warm my thoughts for a brief second.

All that was clear was the impending fate lying ahead

All I could remember is the place I could not escape.


The machine that held me captive for too many years,

its spirit always daunting, always too close next to me.

Desires had escaped me long ago and left me nearly bare

With nothing left but the same end point to meet

in the same hollow halls, under the same diminishing light

Launching Blog #2: Our View through Tinted Glasses

I've tossed and turned over my vision for this blog, and last night came my answer. I strongly desire an online presence as an author, but writing snippits about my thoughts and my stories don't seem enough.

I happily decided to start up a second blog, called Our View through Tinted Glasses. With this blog, I intend to write about many of the key issues for which all of my fiction work is intended to raise awareness: domestic violence, child abuse, women's equality, relationships, personal growth, dysfunctional families, and mental health.

While my fiction blog will help my readers keep up with my work, my second blog will allow me to discuss a lot of the topics occurring today, which are raised in my novel and other published works. I picked this curious title because I think that we miss a lot going on around us due to our view on the world, affected by a number of barriers - the "tinted glasses" that make us believe that everything is just fine the way it is.

Thanks for stopping by, and I will definitely be keeping you posted more often on both sites. Please come back soon!

NEW! Updated sneak peek at my novel

A work in progress, of course, but here's an updated preview of my novel ...

Where do you turn when the only world you'd ever known falls apart? This is the story of two families living in the Midwest, whose ties have always been unbreakable until one terrible evening that will change the course of their lives forever. As they all come face to face with the horrible truths they want to forget, they'll desperately try to piece together any hope or comfort that is left.

This is the powerful tale of returning to the place once fondly called "home" in your heart. Follow Meg as she journeys home during her first semester of college, searching for the same warmth and welcome of childhood. Will there ever be a way to go back to the life she remembered or the family she left behind? As she tries to put together the pieces of her life, she must deal with the harsh realities and choices she had never been prepared for.

A gripping story of two cousins and very best friends, this will take you through the most cherished childhood stories and secrets of Meg and Sara as they survive high school. Faced with the pressures of growing up, fitting in, meeting parent expectations, and anxiously anticipating their future, they have experienced life's biggest challenges and most unforgettable moments - side by side. But can the strong bonds of family and friendship survive the biggest trauma to ever hit their small town? Where do you turn when the world around you seems to fall apart?

This is a novel about growing up in the Midwest, the strong ties of family and traditional values we all hold dear to heart, and the extraordinary childhood friendships we'll never forget.

STAY TUNED FOR MORE!!